


local warrior of light akhar saga gets dragged in the parking lot behind emet-selch's house

by xoci



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen, meta nonsense regarding mmo mechanics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-14 08:48:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21013016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoci/pseuds/xoci
Summary: based on a true event.very, VERY, slight spoilers for the final dungeon of shb, in the sense that i've briefly described the first 5 seconds of the dungeon.its basically an incredibly silly and meta fic abt akhar getting called out mid-dungeon by a complete stranger for relations with thancred





	local warrior of light akhar saga gets dragged in the parking lot behind emet-selch's house

**Author's Note:**

> i dont write

Somewhere in Eulmore, Azah'to Atrohpa, the Warrior of Light/Darkness and the sole Scholar of Nym of the Seventh Astral Era(among other titles), zones out in his chair.

Dulia-Chai nervously casts her gaze towards the catatonic miqo’te. "Oh dear, I can never get used to this... Alphinaud, are you absolutely certain our darling warrior is alright?"

Alphinaud can only shrug in response. "I believe so. He has told me in the past that he is merely... conversing with allies? I am unsure as to how it works, but if he claims it is alright, then I have no choice but to take him at his word. Still, I can't imagine how he can communicate in such a state. Perhaps it is a manifestation of the Echo that allows him to..." The elezen boy launches into an explanation of his many elaborate theories behind the Warrior of Light's mysterious fits of unresponsiveness.

* * *

"SKDJHKDJF AZAH'TO THANK YOUUUUUU" Akhar Saga, one half of twin Warriors of Light and skilled dancer of Troupe Falsiam, bounds towards Azah'to and full body slams into him as a greeting the second he manifests in the room. The scholar lets out a pathetic "h" of a wheeze as he hits the floor, overwhelmed by the impact and the dancer's chaotic greeting both. Meanwhile, Akhar pays no mind to Azah'to's state and forges onward with their words. "I'm going to commit murder if I have to wait through DPS queue again so thanks for coming to heal for me!" It takes Azah'to a few seconds before he can manage to sit himself up and offer Akhar a wave in greeting and forming a question in gestures.

_ "What are we gonna run today?" _

"Expert roulette... Hoping to get Lahabrea's nerd cave again, heh." 

_ "Sounds good. Put us in queue then?" _

* * *

"So........ What is... this place anyway?" Akhar gestures around at their surroundings which, for all intents and purposes, appeared to be a very well lit and comfortable looking waiting room. "Like, I know it's not real, but. What is it." Azah'to brings a hand to his chin, deep in thought about Akhar's question, before putting them to form.

_"That's a good question actually. It probably has something to do with how we and countless others simultaneously exist as Warriors of Light and experience the same chain of events, but have completely different backgrounds and details within those chain of events. Something like, perhaps, parallel timelines."_ Azah'to pauses his motions for a moment, giving Akhar time to process what he had just said.

_And yet we are able to call upon Warriors of Light from other timelines, so there must be a point of connection between. Some sort of, I don't know, cosmic... temporal....."_ Azah'to's hands flail meaninglessly as his line of thought trails off. 

Akhar helpfully completes the sentence for him.

"Waiting room?"

Once more, they gesture about the room, but this time to a resounding lack of response. Akhar struggles to fill the void with words.

"I mean if it looks like one, and smells like one..." They shrug, and let the room fall back into thoughtful silence.

A silence that was quickly broken by a loud pinging sound.

"Oh, queue popped. That took a while!" Akhar slaps their hand down on a floating button that appeared before them, prompting Azah'to poke at his own button. After which, both miqo’te poofed out of the waiting room.

* * *

"Hello- Oh, no, it's Amaurot." Akhar shakes their fist at Emet-Selch's disembodied voice monologuing from the sky. "Why couldn't we have gotten Lahabrea's nerd house? Stupid Echo-induced simulations of our past battles..." Before they could get much further with the thought, one of the other 2 Warriors of Light that had poofed into existence(an Au'ra woman) piped up.

"Oh, Akhar Saga, right? I've heard about you and your exploits!"

Akhar nearly leaps out of their godsdamn fur, so startled are they by being recognized. The other Warrior of Light presses onward.

"You're the one who's with your timeline's Thancred, right? The one who kno-"

Akhar's face goes as red as the paint at the outer corners of their eyes, and quickly interjects before the Au'ra woman can fully incriminate them and their taste in men. "Y-yes...... That's me........"

Azah'to laughs silently. The Au'ra laughs as well, though out loud.

"No judgement! Me too. Except for the, well, aha."

Akhar's ears and tail wither at the response. "How... did you even find out about that?"

The Au'ra woman opens her mouth to reply but suddenly stops, a look of confusion crossing her face. For a moment, the light party is silent. The Au'ra speaks again, with a tentative tone this time. "That's funny, I suddenly can't remember! Something about.... glueskin........... AO3...?"

Akhar cocks their head to the side. "AO3...?"

Something about the unfamiliar words sparks Azah'to's recall as well, but before he or anyone else can say anything...

The scenery around them abruptly distorts. A meteor falls from the sky, bathing the area first in blinding light, then in jpeg artifacts and broken texture maps. And the last thing the Warriors of Light hear as everything shatters and disappears into nothingness is Emet-Selch’s depression monologue.

* * *

"Hello- Oh, no, it's Amaurot." Akhar shakes their fist at Emet-Selch's disembodied voice monologuing from the sky. "Why couldn't we have gotten Lahabrea's nerd house? Stupid Echo-induced simulations of our past battles... Wait, I've said that already."

Azah'to pulls his attention away from summoning his fairy to glance over at Akhar with a slight amount of concern. "I don't think so?"

Akhar looks taken /aback. "I didn't? ...Huh. Oh well. Anyway, we're here so I guess we're gonna fuckin..... Do this."

**Author's Note:**

> And then Akhar proceeded to eat shit to Therion. Repeatedly.
> 
> akhar saga belongs to twitter user @blackshrouds (aka ao3 user glueskin) thanks for letting me grab your catwol [dabs]
> 
> azah'to atrohpa is me own catboy wol
> 
> azah'to can speak verbally but usually doesn't, especially if he's around people that can understand sign language. like, perhaps, say, somebody whos twin has been mute for the past several years. 
> 
> speaking of, hey glueskin when are ya gonna write that fic of thancred's 6 hr long ride on akhar's kn-


End file.
